Dear Melissa,
I’m on Day 12 of the Whole30. I’m passing by the office candy dish without a second glance, I confidently made it through a business dinner with my glass of sparkling water, and I can’t believe how delicious my simple Whole30 meals are tasting! But I’m still eating a lot of snacks (I can’t make it to dinner otherwise). I’m not buying organic produce or grass-fed beef, it’s too expensive! And I think I’m eating too much fruit. Am I messing this up? -Awake and anxious, Milwaukee WI
Dear Awake,
I love that you opened your email with all of the things you’re celebrating. These non-scale victories, especially so early in the program, are high-five-worthy! This clearly demonstrates that your Whole30 efforts are already paying off, and I can’t wait for you to see what happens in Weeks 3 and 4.
Now for the good news: You’re doing everything right. Remember, your only job is to eat Whole30 foods. If you’re doing that, you’re succeeding! But it sounds like you’re putting unnecessary pressure on yourself to do the “perfect” Whole30. (“Perfect” according to whose definition? By what standards? Certainly not mine!) Because of this, you’re torn between celebrating your NSVs and beating yourself up for not doing more, or doing better. I don’t love this for you, and I really don’t want you awake and anxious over it!
Here is how I think about commitment to the Whole30, versus perfection.
Whole30 commitment: Eat Whole30 foods
If you compromise on the Whole30 Program Rules (like, “I’m doing the Whole30… but maybe some red wine when I really need it”), I would tell you, “Yes, there is room for improvement.” Any concessions to the rules, even small ones, can be a slippery slope.* If you allow yourself wine after a tough day, why not add a little hunk of cheese too? And those “tough days” or “special occasions” mid-Whole30 can erase the benefits of the program in one fell swoop, or in many cases, lead you to abandon the program altogether.
This is not what’s happening here.
*Unless your healthcare provider makes program changes for you. Always follow your healthcare provider’s recommendations.
Whole30 recommendations: Not rules, just advice
Aside from the Program Rules, we also offer recommendations for the Whole30. These are designed to help you avoid common challenges, ease potential negative symptoms, and maximize your success on the program.
Our Whole30 recommendations include tips on snacking, making smoothies, calorie-counting, and more. These recommendations come from more than 17 years of experience, but they are not Program Rules. You can choose to follow them or not. You can apply them as they work for your life, goals, and limitations. You can flex how you approach snacking, smoothies, or calorie-counting as your program goes on.
As an example, snacking is fine on the Whole30. If you’re hungry, I want you to eat! My recommendation is not to graze like a gazelle all day, grabbing an apple here and a handful of nuts there… but you could if you wanted to (or if your specific context made that a necessity). You’d still be succeeding on the Whole30. (Review Whole30 Rules vs. Recommendations for more details here.)
Whole30 perfection: This doesn’t exist
Then there’s advice you may have absorbed through the media, influencers, friends, or family. “Only eat organic,” “Fruit has too much sugar,” or, “Convenience products are too processed.” These have nothing to do with the Whole30 Program Rules, and often aren’t even part of our general recommendations. But you’ve got these “ideals” in your head, and you feel like you need to apply these to your Whole30 too.
I assure you, you don’t. The Whole30 can be intimidating enough. Adding on someone else’s idea of “perfect” eating is a recipe for exhaustion, anxiety, and maybe even fear. It’s not necessary for Whole30 success to eat organic produce. (In fact, there is little to no nutritional difference in organic vs. conventionally grown produce.) Same goes for buying grass-fed beef or pastured eggs. If that’s beyond your level of access or budget, I wouldn’t spend a second worrying about it.
Fruit is not “too sugary.” That’s ridiculous. Fruit is a whole, nutrient-dense food, with fiber, water, vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants. Eat the fruit. Fasting (or just skipping breakfast) doesn’t work well for many people, especially women. We’ve spent far too long ignoring our hunger signals as it is. If you’re hungry, please eat.
There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to “healthy” foods or “best” diet practices. The point of the Whole30 is to identify the foods that work best in your unique body. The Program Rules accomplish that in a carefully-designed way: We aim to eliminate as few foods as possible while delivering the best results for the majority of people. Adding your own “food rules” (or someone else’s) on top of the Whole30 is unnecessary, and can even diminish the program’s efficacy.
Let good enough be good enough
Will there be times when you make Whole30 choices that in retrospect, don’t feel great? I’d be shocked if you didn’t. You may find yourself absent-mindedly snacking on salted cashews, or reaching for fruit to satisfy a sugar craving. If that happens, remind yourself, “I am eating Whole30 food, which means I’m doing it right.”
Follow the Whole30 Program Rules, but don’t self-impose “perfection” (whatever you’re imagining). It doesn’t exist, and constantly fussing over your Whole30 choices to make the “ideal” decision is going to do more harm than good. I promise, you’re doing great! Keep focusing on your non-scale victories, stay connected to your body’s natural signals, and trust the process. Best of luck through the last two weeks of elimination, and reintroduction!
Best in health, Melissa
