Four steps for managing emotions in your food freedom

Your body tells you when stress and negative emotions are starting to take a toll. You feel it as physical sensations—a lump in your throat, or a stomach in knots. Learning to identify the signs and address the feelings behind them can be a powerful stress management tool. It’s simple, not easy—but I have four steps that, with practice, will reliably help you through difficult seasons.

Focusing on what your physical self, not what’s happening in your brain, is the key These steps will help you foster a mind-body connection, show up grounded and present, and maintain your Food Freedom plan. (Which is key for stress management, energy levels, sleep quality, and self-confidence!)

I’m not a therapist—although that would be a great place to begin this practice. These steps for managing emotions and stress by listening to your body have really helped me, though. I hope they do the same for you.

Step 1: The set-up

The next time you notice discomfort, a negative emotion, or a craving, pause and spend a few minutes in the following exercise. Approach this practice with curiosity, not judgment; there is no way to get it wrong.

1. Start in a comfortable seated position, either on the floor or in a chair
2. Place your feet on the floor to help you feel grounded (bonus if you’re barefoot and outside)
3. Close your eyes to prevent distraction and stay present
4. Take a few slow belly breaths (a 5-count inhale, 1-count hold, 5-count exhale, 1-count hold) to help calm the nervous system

Allow yourself to sit with whatever you’re feeling without pressuring yourself to name it or solve for it. Try, “I’m feeling something, and it’s big. I’m just going to acknowledge that, instead of pretending it doesn’t exist.” Take a few deep breaths, using your exhales to relax even further. Allow yourself to simply exist with this sensation, and remind yourself that you’re safe.

Step 2: Get out of your head

This is usually the point where we try to think or rationalize our way through the emotion, telling stories about what it means. We’re not going there, for two reasons.

First, some emotions (like anger) are SO big and overpowering that they often hide what we’re really feeling beneath them. This could be shame, fear, or loneliness.

Second, this “top-down” processing keeps us stuck on the story about what the emotion means, versus really sitting in how we feel. There is so much benefit to be found in somatic “ground-up” work. So we’re going to sidestep our brain for now, and check in with our body instead.

Do a quick scan of your body. Ask yourself where this emotion is coming up for you. Common areas for feeling stress include the head, neck and shoulders, throat, heart, stomach, and hips or pelvis. But you can feel things anywhere. You don’t have to be specific, but here are some unique sensations you might notice:

It might be a flash; a dull sensation in a particular area; or a strong, concentrated feeling. Trust yourself. “I’m having this big emotion right now. Where is this emotion sitting in my body? I notice I feel (this way) in my (body area or part).”

Step 3: Take a breath

Sit with that for a moment. Imagine what you’re feeling is landing in your stomach, and feels heavy, like a giant bowling ball.

Take a deep breath into your stomach. Imagine pure, clean air or energy coming in, and send it down to that body part. Then breathe out, imagining darkness, smog, tension, or negativity leaving that space through the breath.

Do you still feel that in your stomach? Did it dissipate? Did it move to another body part? How does the emotion feel now? Is it just as present, did it grow stronger, or does it feel less intense? Repeat the process a few times, and notice how your body responds every time you sink deeper into the breath.

Now, take those pieces and put them together: “I’m feeling this in my (body part). It feels like (describe in as much detail as you are able). How could what I’m feeling right now be related to this sensation in my body?”

It might even help to use the body parts to describe how you’re feeling. If you feel it in your stomach, you might say, “I feel sick that…” If you feel it in your heart, you might say, “My heart is sinking that…” If you feel it in your muscles, you might say, “I feel tense and defensive about…”

There are no right answers when you’re managing emotions in this way. Just trust that your body wants to help you figure out how you’re feeling, and how to process it.

Step 4: Ask your body what it needs

The final step to managing emotions is to ask your body what it needs in this moment to feel heard, supported, and safe. This may feel weird if the process is new, but you may be surprised at what comes up for you.

I firmly believe your body has been begging you to ask, and is just waiting to send you helpful signals. Ask your stomach, heart, or muscles: “What do you need to feel heard, supported, and safe? What could I do or who could I bring in right now, even if it’s just in my imagination, to help you?”

Allow whatever comes up. Sit with it for as long as you need. You may feel like a huge burden has been lifted, or you may feel a bit more clarity or calmness. Regardless, trust that you have begun to reestablish that mind-body connection. And remember that your body appreciates you checking in and letting it take care of you (and vice-versa). 

With practice, the process becomes easier, more automatic, and more effective. And with time, you’ll be able to tap into this kind of communication in the moment, without having to sit down and close your eyes.

Use the mind-body connection to support your food freedom

Checking in with your body is key to your entire Whole30 journey. That includes how you work your Food Freedom plan, too. In your food freedom, you employ a brief pause, and check in with yourself to ask “Is it worth it, and do I want it?” Then you making the decision that serves you best in that moment. Practicing these check-ins in the face of negativity or stress will carry over.

Remember, it’s called a practice for a reason. This isn’t a skill I learned overnight, and there were plenty of times I’d sit down and think, “I don’t even know what I’m doing.” But with time and consistency, I learned to trust the signals my body was sending me. I was able to establish patterns in my feelings, and discover new ways to navigate stressful moments, negative emotions, or discomfort in a way that didn’t involve a not-worth-it food or drink. As a bonus, this practice will also help you set and hold healthy boundaries in all of your relationships, because those require you to check in with your own feelings and needs, too! It’s all related.

The next time you notice excess negativity, stress, or discomfort, try managing emotions with this practice and see what comes up for you. Let me know on Instagram (@melissau) how your Food Freedom plan is going, and ask for help when you need it.